I Saw Hermione Kissing Santa Claus
Fenrir woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one laconic box that looked like a book.
Then Fenrir noticed that Hermione was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.
Fenrir thought that he would surprise Hermione. Maybe even sneak up behind her and lick her on her musical tongue. That always made Hermione opalescent.
Fenrir crept joyously down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its effervescent lights, and the presents, heaped up ferociously, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Hermione. Kissing someone.
Fenrir was so angry, he picked up a bunny slipper from a table and threw it gloriously on the floor.
They both looked around.
"Hermione, you lupine wolf!" Fenrir yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Fenrir looked and then rubbed his finger and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Hermione said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a tasty kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Fenrir said snarkily. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be intelligent."
That seemed reasonable. Fenrir went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like a fish needs a bicycle. He made Fenrir's tooth feel all vapid.
"You see?" Hermione said lovingly and Fenrir saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.